Overcoming Obstacles Before The Warrior Dash

For a few days now I have been pondering what to type up next.  Not much Jets news besides Wilkerson’s crash and the usual Sanchez/Tebow drama.  Training camp begins soon.  I assume the drama will start up soon.

I am not going to be working on my Jets documentary forever.  It led to me covering the fans and giving them their chance to shine when no one else really does.  Not just on video but in print.  But there  is more going on to talk about than just the New York Jets and it is time I branched out and started to write about many other topics.

Let’s face it, diversity is key.  Need some variety here.  The Bakery is getting stale with the same old topics.  It needs to be freshened up with some new topics and coverage.  And maybe some more about myself, what I am doing, and what I have been through.

What better way to start than to talk about my foray into the Warrior Dash this Saturday.

What is the Warrior Dash you ask?  Check their website at Warrior Dash.  I can not be bothered talking about it so find out for yourself.

Just kidding.

The Warrior Dash, the World’s Largest Running Series,  is a 3.20 mile long course made up of 14 “hellish” obstacles.  They take place on off terrain paths, in water, over walls, in mud, over fire, and many other obstacles.  There are 45+ races in the United States every year and also Australia.

Some of the obstacles change from course to course, depending on the environment.  This is the first time Warrior Dash is in New Jersey.  It is being held at Lewis Morris County Park in Morristown, NJ and this is my first time running in this event.

Even the walking I would do filming at a Jets game is not enough cardio for an event like this.  I would begin by parking at the Sheraton on the other side of Route 3.  Then with some maneuvering, use a NJ Turnpike exit bridge to the stadium to cross the highway.  Then  walk from one end of MetLife Stadium parking to the other side, and back again.  Even over to the Izod Center and everywhere in between.

I have been training for this since March considering I have not been in a gym for about six years.  So I knew I had to dedicate time and energy to make sure I could at least finish the event.  The Warrior Dash website does outline certain training routines for different skill sets.  I am glad I trained beyond what they recommend.

The event begins at 9 AM.  The first 500 warriors will line up for their dash through hell.  Then in 30 minute intervals, waves of 500 Warriors will line up for their opportunity.  I line up for my chance at 1:30 PM.

You can track my start of the event and when I finish on Facebook or Twitter.  Pictures will also be posted by Warrior Dash’s in house photographers as well as race day updates by myself.

As I write this my mother sends me an e-mail saying she just read what the Warrior Dash involves.  Then she asked if I was crazy.

I responded yes.

The race does involve and obstacle where one has to jump over a wall of flame.  It is just a line of Duraflame logs.  To get an more in depth review of Warrior Dash and other running series like Spartan Run, Rebel Race, Tough Mudder, and others go to Travelete.com.

I bring that up because some obstacles seem worse than they sound.  They do not want it to be impossible where only few finish.  That is the Tough Mudder, (recognize my sarcasm yet?).

If there is someone struggling, others have been know to provide assistance on the course.  Many do act like sportsmen and want to see others overcome and finish.  You can sign up as a group  as well and run with your friends.

To me, the Warrior Dash is just another physical activity I enjoy putting my body through.  I know a few may not like to hear that, but I enjoy doing extreme activities.  I wrestled professionally for about 13 years (mostly on weekends), bungee jumped, went to Mountain Creek when it was Action (Traction) Park, played tons of sports when I was younger, and just enjoy a great challenge.

When it came to physical activities when I was younger, I was lucky to do what I did.  My vision provided some, not major, limitations in activities my parents would let me do.  Football was out.  The one sport I wish I had played in my life.

At the age of 10 in 1984, wrestling was the one sport I stayed with.  Did not give it up.  Loved to wrestle.  In eighth grade, I went through the season undefeated in the heavyweight weight class (149-275 lb, I weighed 163) and took first place in two county tournaments.   was able to climb the ropes in gym class using just my arms.  My sophomore year in high school I made varsity at 189 lbs.

I held my head just a little higher after making varsity after years of being teased, bullied, and made to feel insignificant by my peers.  To many, it didn’t matter and some teasing continued, even from some of my teammates.

But it never stopped me from quitting wrestling or anything I did.  I persevered though it.  I have always had this mentality that I can do anything I put my mind to, no matter what my limitations are in life.  I never like to hear the word “NO” or “you can’t do that”.

My attitude is “Yes” and “watch me”.

That was until some news I received over the summer of 1991.  I noticed a change in vision.  I had to visit a specialist in New York because my condition could not be diagnosed by my specialist in New Jersey.

I was attended to by one of the three leading specialists in the world regarding my vision issue.  I underwent three and a half hours of testing to determine what my vision issues were.

It was determined I had subretnal neovascularization with pathological myopia.  Say that three times fast.

I can.

To sum up the condition, imagine looking through two scars on your eyes everyday.  You can see, but not perfectly and with some vision loss.  That is me.  Doctors told me no more wrestling.

I was devastated.  I cried for a long time on that one.

At the age I was diagnosed, I was informed my condition occurs in one out of three million my age.  It is a form of wet macular degeneration that normally happens to people in their 60’s and 70’s.

I was officially a winner in the unlucky lottery.

If I strained the blood vessels in my eyes significantly it could increase the scarring from blood leakage behind the eye.  This was what the doctors were worried about and advised me not to wrestle or do any extraneous physical activities.

So, for my final two seasons on the wrestling team I was the team manager and recorded all the wrestlers matches.  My senior year I was an assistant freshman wrestling coach.  I had good knowledge, what can I say.

Yes, I know I had on a sweater.

But after high school I went into professional wrestling.  Yes, I know I was told not to wrestle but I did it anyway.

It was what I wanted to do and I was not going to let anyone tell me otherwise.  I miss the physicality.  I enjoyed hitting and being hit.  Not too hard of course.  But I enjoyed it.  I love putting my body out there.  The adrenaline rush makes me smile.  If I could have gone into MMA instead of wrestling,  I would have.

For years I wrestled and did other physical activities, including weight lifting, with no other damage any doctor can make out.  I have been in the clear.  I have always said every time I go out there and do something I risk the odds.

Odds makers in Las Vegas have gone broke betting on me.  I am pretty good with numbers.  I can figure rough odds playing poker.

Knowing my limitations and abilities does keep me a step ahead.  If I need to pull the plug on something or realize a limitation.  I will stop with no hesitation.  I may be crazy, but I am not stupid.

I am a very headstrong, determined individual.  When I set my mind to something, I set to accomplish what I start.  I went headfirst into filming a documentary and learned on the fly about film making.  Major thanks to Anthony Artis and others on their guidance.

The Hardcore Champion. Retired undefeated with the belt. I still have it!

The Warrior Dash is just another challenge I KNOW I can accomplish.  If you don’t challenge yourself you will never know what you are able to accomplish.  One can never realize their full potential.

I never want to look back and say I never tried.  It is better to attempt and fail, than to not try at all.  OK, so someone may have said that before me but it works well here (Thanks Ant!).

I keep repeating a scene from the movie “Rocky Balboa” in my head.  Rocky tells Rocky Jr. that it is not about how hard you get hit it is about how hard you come back from that hit.  That no matter how much you feel you are being hit further down you fight back that much harder.

Hey, draw inspiration from whatever adrenaline boosting IV you can get it from.  As long as you do something about it.

I am dedicating my race on Saturday to two groups.  For those visually impaired, who can see and do more than their limitations let them.  Also,  for those younger who need the confidence to fight back and overcome obstacles & realize their full potential.  I am not sure if there is a non-profit or .org for that one.

I think the obstacles I’ve faced in life have set me up well mentally for the obstacles at the Warrior Dash.  Glad I was able to get my body physically capable as well.

I know the Warrior Dash is going to be fun.  Another event in the long line of physical activities I decided to sacrifice my body to.  I know I am going to hate the cardio in between the obstacles.  I hate doing cardio, but a necessary evil.  It is the obstacles I am looking forward to the most.  Getting down and dirty, using my hands, climbing ropes, jumping over walls, stopping speeding bullets.

OK, I got carried away.

I plan on doing one of these events a year.  My wife Gina wanted me to do the Super Spartan Race in September as well.  No way I am ready for an 8 mile race.  But for my 40th birthday, I do plan on running the Tough Mudder.

Here comes another e-mail from my mother.

Former Dallas Coach Jimmy Johnson At NFF HOF Announcement

Former Dallas Cowboys, Oklahoma State, and Miami (Fla) Head Coach Jimmy Johnson gives his thoughts and opinions on today’s collegiate and professional players, injuries, social media, and more.  Always great to hear candid opinions than one’s already prepared for press statements.

Also catch my other videos of the event on my YouTube page.  You can also find an interview with former New York Jets Sack Exchange member and 2011 College Football Hall of Fame inductee Marty Lyons.

NFF Announces 2012 College Football Hall of Fame Class

From the national ballot of 76 and a pool of hundreds of eligible nominees, Archie Manning, chairman of the National Football Foundation & College Hall of Fame, announced last Tuesday May, 15th the 2012 College Football Hall of Fame Football Bowl Subdivision Class, which includes the names of 14 first team All-American players and three legendary coaches.

  • Charles Alexander-TB, LSU (75-78)
  • Otis Armstrong-HB, Purdue (70-72)
  • Steve Bartkowski-QB, California (72-74)
  • Hal Bledsoe-SE, Southern California (61-63)
  • Dave Casper-TE, Notre Dame (71+73)
  • Ty Detmer-QB, BYU (88-91)
  • Tommy Kramer-QB, Rice (73-76)
  • Art Monk-WR, Syracuse (76-79)
  • Greg Myers-DB, Colorado State (92-95)
  • Johnathan Ogden-OT, UCLA (92-95)
  • Gabe Rivera-DT, Texas Tech (79-82)
  • Mark Simoneau-LB, Kansas State (96-99)
  • Scott Thomas-S, Air Force (82-85)
  • John Wooten-OG, Colorado (56-58) – selected from the FBS Veterans Committee
  • Phillip Fulmer- 152-52-0 (74.5%) Tennessee (1992-2008)
  • Jimmy Johnson- 81-34-3 (70.0%) Oklahoma State (79-83) & Miami (Fl.) (84-88)
  • R.C. Slocum- 123-47-2 (72.1%) Texas A&M (1989-2002)

“We are extremely proud to announce the 2012 College Football Hall of Fame Class,” said Manning, a 1989 College Football Hall of Famer from Ole Miss.  “Each year the selection process becomes increasingly more difficult, but George Corrigan and the Honors Court do an amazing job of selecting a diverse group of the most amazing players and coaches in our sport’s rich history.  This class is certainly no exception, and we look forward to honoring them and celebrating their achievements throughout the year ahead.”

The 2012 College Football Hall of Fame Subdivision (FBS) Class will be inducted at the NFF Annual Awards Dinner on December, 2012 at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City.  They will be honored guests at the National Hall of Fame Salute at the Allstate Sugar Bowl in New Orleans on January 2, 2013 and officially enshrined in the summer of 2013.

The announcement was made from the NASDAQ OMX Marketsite in Time Square, which has hosted the event the past four consecutive years.  XOS Digital produced the NFF web streams for the second consecutive year.  Enjoy video for the years inductions into this year’s College Football Hall of Fame.

Remembering My Father On The Day Of His Passing

Today nine years ago I lost my father.  I think about him everyday.  But today I think about him most, obviously.  The times he took me to my wrestling tournaments, going to New York Jets games, visiting Belmar, helping him with his doctors, and so much more.  I figured I would do my first video blog and talk about it.  I can get more out verbalizing than I can writing sometimes.

Obviously, I did not talk about everything.  I did not want to put a script together just to talk about my dad.  There are some posts on here where I talk about him.  For now, I will let everyone listen to me from here rather than reading anything more.

One’s Past is Motivation For A Future

I wrote this last night when I came back from the Bing.com event.  It took a lot for me to get it out and put it here.  I usually hold back and do not share thoughts like this.  But with what is going on in the economy, I know others feel the same.  Others wish they could change professions but lack the means or experience to do so.  Many do it for free in the hopes to one day be paid.  That is my case.  Determination and motivation propel me to never quit at what I set my mind to.  My goal is for someone to see what I am able to and takes a chance to make me a part of their team, and get paid:

Good evening all.  I just got in from the Bing.com sponsored event with Dhani Jones of the Cincinnati Bengals.  I will have more of a write up soon.  I have a lot of thoughts going through my head as I left the event and on the way home.

I enjoy attending these events.  It gets me out there amongst those I get to network with and show my creative side.  A side of myself that has been neglected for so many years.  A side of myself that is true to who I am and the path I should have chosen years ago to follow.  Now this could be the six Jack Daniels and Diet Cokes in me but then again, it could also be the  true voice I have kept inside for too long.

I always enjoy attending these events.  This is the second one I have attended from Bing.com.  I enjoy writing for FootballReportersOnline.com and ProFootballNYC.com.  I enjoy filming my documentary and the places it has taken me.  I enjoy doing the radio show on Tuesdays for Football Reporters Online that focuses on NYC football and other football topics.  But in my case, I seem to enjoy doing the things I do not get paid for more than the things I do.

Here I sit, a part time worker in the retail industry.  A casualty of the economy as I was one in the financial services field.  I was not happy.  In high school, I made many small films as extra credit in almost every class I was in.  I liked to write and be creative.  I had such a cloud over my head I could not see the path I should have gone down in front of me.  Today , at age 36, I am trying to change careers in a down economy and attempt to make a living and get noticed on what I love to do.

Tonight at the Bing event, I realized a few things that made me feel proud and disappointed at the same time.  Here I sit, trying to make something of myself with a checked past.  I network, overhearing everyone talk about their positions at People magazine, Sunshine Sachs, Bing.com, American Airlines, and other notable fields.  I inform those I am conversing with I am a sports blogger and documentary filmmaker.  I may not be being paid for it, but it is what I consider myself.  If I could be paid for what I do, I would be a happier person.  It always makes me feel a little down when I hear others talk about their profession when I know they get paid for what they do while I strive to get noticed to get paid for what I love to do.

Now my resume may not look the best or have detailed experience on what I want to do for a living.  That does not mean I am not determined to learn and strive to achieve my goals to make it in the field I want to earn a living from.  I am a fast learner.  I can tell those I networked with tonight are younger than me and made the right decisions to get to where they are now.  I dd not.  I am making up for past mistakes.  I may not have the right internship of job experience, but I have heart and determination and some do not look upon that as enough.

Tonight’s focus was about how to use Bing.com for your travel purposes.  I heard many talking about their recent trips to Paris, Thailand, Barbados, and a few other destinations.  Some did it for work.  I am frustrated I am stuck where I am.  In an economy where the job market is horrible.  A job market where you have to know the right people and bypass certain resume readers just to be considered for some positions.

I can not change my past.  I can only learn from it and take the right steps now on where I want to be in the near future.  I enjoy writing, filming, and marketing via social media.  I may not have major experience behind me or the right educational background, but that does not mean I should be overlooked.  I know I am not old, it just feels that no matter how hard I try it seems like a tough hill to climb to get to where I want to be with my checkered past.  I can not go back and change anything, but I can work my hardest now to make things right for the future.

Tonight made me realize where I want to be.  It is not an easy road for me to get there.  But it is attainable.  I would like to get back to a position with a salary.  Where I can have a vacation, a 401K, and other perks that make me want to go in everyday.  I would like to have the kind of career That makes me proud to be in the industry I work hard and not get paid for now.

I want to support my family.  I would like to be the one that makes more than my wife.  Tonight was the kind of night that makes me strive harder to accomplish my goals.  To be the one that talks about the places they traveled to for their job.  There are thousands in my position now.  Wishing they could make a change but they do not have the means or experience to do so.  I just have t keep plugging and hope one takes notice of me and sees enough to give me the chance someone else will not give.

Am I jealous of those I was around tonight, no.  Am I envious of the paths they took to get to where they are, maybe.  I just look back and wish I did things differently.  It just sucks I have to make up for lost time and do all of this in a down economy.  I am sure my words echo many who think along the same lines.  All I can do is continue along writing and filming, and get my work into the right hands of those who decide on weather to hire or fire.

Sometimes it is easy for me to keep my feelings inside.  Others times I want to shout them from the rooftops.  This time I could not keep them in any longer.  I felt the need to speak my mind and use this as a way to talk about more than just football and my documentary.  Some say hope is a powerful thing, others say hope means nothing without faith.  At this point in my life, I hold both close to me knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel that is my journey today.

The Fix Is In, So I Thought

Ever since I started my website I have done nothing but talk about the New York Jets and my documentary.  I have thrown few bits and pieces in about other topics.  I never intended this website to be entirely about the New York Jets.  Once I am done filming my documentary I will not be filming in the parking lot of the stadium.  I am going to need more to report on and write.  I did want to share one small story.  One that goes back to 1988.  I was in eighth grade at Central Middle School in Parsippany, NJ.  A story I do not think I have told anyone really.  Maybe a few people know, but I forget exactly who knows.  A story about how I tried to rig my last cross country meet before moving on to high school.

Central Middle School, formerly Central Jr. High, was for 6-8th grades.  But I was the last 6th grade class to “graduate” from elementary school before they added 6th grade to Central.  So I went to Central as a 7th grader.  I ran cross country to get my stamina up and get into shape for my real passion in school, wrestling.  I had wrestled since the 4th grade.  Since I was not allowed to play football due to my vision & was not a soccer player, I decided to run cross country.  I ran cross country in 7th and 8th grade.  My best finish was 5th, obviously I was not that good.  But hey, I did it anyway.  I did not want to go into wrestling season with no conditioning under my belt.

In my last race my eighth grade year I decided to do something to make it a little more exciting.  You see, th race course went through a local cemetery.  That’s right, a cemetery.  There is a gravel road that circles the middle of the cemetery.  I thought it would be funny to have a couple of kids hiding in the nearby woods and make ghost noises.  As runners would be jogging though the cemetery who would think to hear those noises.  Especially not the opposing school.  Even my own teammates did not know what was going to happen.  I told no one.  I only told the kids that helped me pull off the prank.  I can not even remember their names.

The day before the race I approached three kids and they were into it.  We all thought it would be funny.  It was my last race so I did not give it much thought.  As I am writing this I have the A-Team on TV.  Funny, the actor who played the caddy DeNunzo in Caddyshack is playing a caddy on the A-Team.  Talk about typecast.  Anyway, back to the story.  All I wanted them to do was to make ghost noises, that was it.  They decided to take things a step further.  If I had known what they had in mind, I would have called the whole thing off.

Now the girls ran first.  I was stretching before by meet and paid no attention to much else.  When it came time to run our race, I did not notice the opposing teams girls talking to their coach.  Apparently, our teams girls had finished in some pretty good places.  Who would thick twice about something like that.  By the time my race has started the only thing I cared about was finishing.  I was not the best long distance runner.  As I got to the cemetary I was waiting for what I had planned.  As I got about two theirds around I hd heard the howls and boos coming from the woods.  But there was something else I had noticed too.  Rocks coming from the woods being thrown at the opposing teams runners.

When I saw that done I knew things were going a little too far.  But by then it was too late.  I never wanted anyone to get hurt or hit by anything.  Just a couple of laughs.  By the time the race was over nothing had happened.  We all went home and thought nothing about what happened.  I was just laughing a lot from what I had done.  Thinking how funny it was to place people in the woods to make ghost noises as runners ran through a cemetery.  It was not until the next day did I find out more about what the kids I had placed had done.

It turns out, the kids I had talked to about going into the woods were seen coming out.  They were named by some others and one of the teams coaches by description.  One of the kids had named me as the ringleader, but I was.  The principal had me in his office along with one of the other kids.  He brought up that some of the girls on the opposing team had tripped over some kind of rope.  As it turned out, the kids had covered a rope up under the rocks on the course.  When the opposing teams girls ran over it, they pulled it up and tripped them.  They ended up scratching and scraping their knees.  This was something I told the principal I told them not to do.  Only to make ghost noises.

So what started as a harmless prank turned into something out of my control.  I got several days of detention for it.  Luckily, I was not suspended or anything major.  That was the first and only time I decided to rig or get involved with any fixing.  I still laugh about it today.  I am not sure if anyone else has tried to do what I did.  I have a couple of other stories I may decide to write about.  Definately a lot I have told few people, especially anyone in my own family. You can not write some of the stuff, you just do it.

Watched My Last Jets Game, Just Didn’t See It

Good morning everyone.  Wanted to take some time to thank everyone for their support and well wishes for the documentary.  Many Jets fans are glad someone is peaking up for them while some others who did speak up, now have put their tail between their legs and ran away.  Never will understand that.  I guess those who were outspoken against the PSL’s and the Jets organization changed their mind, purchased PSL’s, and do not want to seem like  a hypocrite.  The Jets seem to know the Jedi Mind Trick and the Jets fans will do what they say because they feel they have no choice.  Yes, you do, do not buy them.  I already know some that went for the PSL’s and are regretting their choice because it was an impulse reaction and went for it.  Now, some are having second thoughts.

Before I get more into updates as to what has been going on I want to let everyone know how hard it is for me to be behind the camera.  See, I have a central loss of vision in both of my eyes.  When I was 16 I was diagnosed with a vision disorder called subretinal neovascularization with pathological myopia.  The Ansler Gird shows you what I see in comparison to what someone with perfect vision sees.   It mainly happens to people in their 60’s-70’s.  The age I got this happens to 1 out of 3 million.  Winner in the unlucky lottery.  It is a form of wet macular degeneration that creates hemorrhaging and blood clotting on the blood vessels behind the eyes.  The blood leaks out which creates scarring behind the eyes when it dries.  So I am looking through scars on both of my eyes which really distorts my central vision.  Even typing this on my laptop is not an easy task.  Imagine going though life trying to look though a scar on each eye impeding your central vision.  Not an easy thing to do.  Plus, there is nothing they can do for me.  The problem is so close to the center of the eye if they go in with laser, they risk my entire vision.


When I get behind the camera I always have to film from the gut and intuition.  I can not make out a clear picture or see if everything is in focus.  Thank god for auto focus and assistance.  If I did not have a great support team in my wife, Anthony Quintano, and recently Billy Tooma and Matt nackson, I do not know what I would be doing.   I know I can not do it all myself & sometimes you just need that extra hand.  I was too proud to want any help before.  Was not going to let a little vision loss make me rely on someone else.  But after coming to my other senses I knew the help was coming from a good place in everyone.  You don’t need eyesight to have vision.

When I would sit in our seats at Giants Stadium, I would need binoculars every game just to see what was going on on the field.  Our seats were in Section 226, Row 8, Seats 7 and 8.  Every pass and every run I wanted through my father’s old Sears binoculars.  They work great!  My wife got me a new trendy slimmer pair last season.  Got my chance to see Brett Favre up close every game.  Well, except the last game.  The last game of the 2008 season and my last ever game at Giants Stadium I left my binoculars in the car.  I didn’t go back to get them.  I watched the game all right, just didn’t have a great view.  My last game at Giants Stadium and I could barely see it.   It is in those times in life where even the slightest handicap makes you sink in your seat.  You then get up out of your seat and know you will not miss the next moment.  Having a handicap does not make one handicap from living their life.

I never let this get in the way of anything I did.  It forced me out of wrestling in high school and that was about it.  Will be out in the next few months filming and looking into football alternatives.  Some did not know there was such a thing.  I will have more on it soon.  Jets making a lot of off season moves.  I hope for the teams sake the good players they are getting can become a great team.  I am off to Giants Stadium today to take some more pictures so I will update everyone tonight.  Not going to let a little vision loss slow me down.  It motivates me to work harder and not settle on any project.  I never quit, I persevere.

Clear Thoughts & Random S**t!

I always come on here and talk about the New York Jets.  Either about the documentary, the team, the organization or to even post other articles from various sources.  I feel that no one is really caring about what is going on to sports fans in this country.  Seems many are aware and do not care.  Do not care that they and their families can not afford to attend sporting events on the professional/major league level.  A lot of people I interview say one thing and try to be the proud fan and not go with what the team/organization wants.  Next I see them with their tail between their legs, head down, and caving in to what the team wants.  So people know they are sheep are will always go with the herd, even if the herd turn out to be lemmings.  It is hard to find those who stick to their beliefs and do not cave in to peer pressure.   I have more respect for those who stick to their guns than those who feel they have to be a part of the majority and feel that is the way to be accepted. Those who have the disposable income will argue this.  Just because one can afford certain luxuries does not make you a better fan than someone else.  Takes a bigger person to be humble than egotistical.

OK,  I had to get that off my chest.  Not aiming it at anyone specific.  Just feel there are so many football fans out there willing to go quietly into the night.  We all have a voice in this country and we all deserve to use it.  I do not care if no one reads this I just feel the need to get certain things off my chest.  I do not get hundreds or visitors here, not even an average of 10 people a day come here.  I do not care.  Eventually, when you make enough noise someone will hear you.  I can scream and make noise until the day I die.  I hold back a lot and do not let my true opinions be heard.  I just felt the need to be 100%  open on so many things.  A lot may come out rambled but hey, this is my blog and I will do it however I feel like it.  So used to holding back and not speaking my mind.  Following rules and doing what it takes to make other happy.  I have not been doing what it takes to keep myself happy.  I have so much pent up inside the Incredible Hulk is about to come out, without the devastating destruction of course.  Just want my mind and soul to be free of a lot of opinions and thoughts. So here goes..

I liked doing the insurance thing.  Felt good to help people.  I did not like being one who relied on commission for my income, was not me.  I need that steady income ocming in from a base salary or even a contract job.  At least you have something in writing or a guaranteed check coming in.  I worked with people who did certain things just to make that commission though.  Some did underhanded things because they knew the size of the commission they would get.  Some did not even have the proper licensing to give the advice they were giving.  At the company I worked for, they prayed on the weak minded and ill informed about their portfolios just to sell them certain products.  If I saw a person was in good shape or could not afford something, I would not sell them something.  I would not sell to someone just for that commission.  Some did just to make that commission, even if it was not good for the client.  Sometimes it felt I was one of the only people with a conscious in that place. Some did everything they wanted to do just to get ahead.

I was in some trouble in the late 90’s, nothing major.  I needed an attorney.  There were a few others with me at the time who knew first hand what happened.  I covered for one of them and changed my story with my attorney to protect one who I thought was my friend.  When I asked them to talk to my attorney to give their story to help me, they wouldn’t.  They gave me excuse after excuse.  One said he could not even get to a phone to talk to my attorney.  hiding down the shore during a project claiming there was no phone to get to.  I told very few others about what happened and those not involved offered to help.  They offered to help pay my attorney fees but I said I would take care of it.  Others even wanted to go after those who were involved and didn’t help me when needed.  I told them I appreciated it and I knew if they went after them, they would not be walking.  If this same incident had happened to someone else close to the ones who did not help me, both of them would have helped.  To me, the guys who were with me that night were cowards and not my true friends.  They hid and did not want to be involved.   If they considered me a friend, they would have helped me out.  Instead, they let me to rot and could not even help me in a time of need.  Even when both came out form under their rock, neither offed any assitance.  I know if it happened to other mutual friends, they would have been there for them.  No matter what excuses they gave me, I will never believe them in my life and they will always be liars and pussies in my book.  Karma is a major bitch and as Roddy Piper said in They Live, he is back in heat.  I am sure she had multiple orgasms over this.

First time I got that out to someone other than my wife.  My hands even shook a bit as I typed it.  Guess I kept that down in me long enough it just felt good to let it out. I really do not know why I felt nervous.  Not like I am going to screw over a friendship.  Maybe nervous because for the first time I am actually writing from the gut.  Getting out true emotion I kept down and never got off my chest.     I knew the aforementioned guys form professional wrestling.  I was back stabbed and screwed over so many times when I was involved in professional wrestling.  I was naive and gullible, some took advantage of that early on.  plus I was not the most mature person.  Only later I would smarten up and be mature.  Took too long to get there.  The only true friends I have from wrestling I can count on one hand and I knew MANY.  The only way to really survive is if you have TRUE talent or willing to back stab your way to the top.  Nice guys like me never see the finish line.  Too much drama in wrestling too and I am talking about behind the curtain.

I always push off writing.  I look at my laptop and tell myself later.  Well, later is here.  I know I need to write more often and keeping myself to a structure is not working for me.  I guess from now on, anything goes.  Whatever I feel like writing about I will.  If I manage to anger someone or piss someone off, then I guess someone is actually paying attention to what I write.  At this point in my life, I do not care who I piss off anymore. No more holding back.  Some truths or opinions need to be told.  At this point, any attention is good attention.  Might have to add to this later.   Reminds me of what the Joker (Jack Nicholson) said in Batman, “it feels very liberating”.

Getting Caught Up

Good evening one and all. It has been a while since I have been on here. Getting my first job in retail to pay the bills has been more tiring than i thought. But a paycheck is a paycheck these days. I am sure I do not have to say anything about the Jets season so far. Rex Ryan said they were a 4-5 team right now on the Michael Kay show on 1050 ESPN Radio this week. The Jets in my opinion have been the same old Jets. All hype and no bite. This roller coaster seems to have more valleys that hills to climb. Guess it is just a little to hard to get over the hill right now. Sanchez needs to step up his game and sharpen his game. Too many interceptions and blown chances. Even with Edwards, the receiving line is hurting. No one is stepping up their game. Let us all hope at some point they can make us all proud to be Jets fans.

Filming at the games has been limited this year due to rain. Anthony and I finally got to our first game this past weekend. Good stuff and as always we were at Sal and Carmine’s. They set up for Thanksgiving dinner at the tailgate. All the trimmings plus some of the usual tailgate food. The fried bananas were great! Received an e mail from the Jets yesterday extending an invitation to take a tour of the new stadium. They have been setting up tours for those interested in getting seats in the new stadium. I am using this as a chance to not just see it, but to film it. They also promised 2 tickets to a game this season. If they can not sell them, why not give them away. Great opportunity at a great time.

Going to be sitting down with Sal and Carmine in the next few weeks. Will also have updates from people I sat down with last year. Have to get into post production mode on a few things and get some others started. Will also be working on some new projects soon.


Basck to Basics

Here I have sat, where most of the TV time has been spent on the Brett Favre affair. Now I have not been here all day,I was out and about on this hot and humid day. Just when the TV has been on, it has been on sports. From hearing Brett was on a plane from Hattiesburg, MS to Vikings training camp to seeing him jog out onto the field in his number 4 practice jersey. He will be starting for the Vikings this Friday night against the chiefs. As a Jets fan I have already gotten over the love affair. For other fans of Favre and Vikings fans I wish you the best with the drama he totes around in those bags on his shoulders. Jets fans have enough drama at QB this year anyway.
The Brett Favre signing has been a nice distraction today. From everything else that has been going on over the past week. From working the phones and pulling my hair out to a clear head and a sure sign that things to come are only going to get better. I wrote before about going back to when I thought i had things figured out. Well, now I am sure I do. Had to look at myself from the other side of the mirror, take a good judgmental look at myself. Done being behind a desk for now. It was wearing on me. I was getting fried doin g the same thing day in and day out. Not just the past few months, but over the years.
For the longest time I was just never prepared. Never really got a grip on the future or gave it much thought. Never planned ahead, not even for a career. Never set a base to grow on and learn from. I have a better idea now of things so that is why I need to begin anew. I will elaborate more later.
Will have the new website up and running very soon. I am going to go into pull details there. Did not want to begin something big when I will have to continue it elsewhere. But tomorrow I will touch base on a few things. I thought I had it all together, when I set a path that it would all be found along the way. Man, I was so mistaken. I should have stopped and asked for directions long ago. Or consulted those that would give me an honest answer. I should have done things for myself and not think others would do things for me years ago. I got used to that kind of thing and let it keep going.
OK, I said I would not go on and I am, lol. I really did get a good look at myself over the past few months and realized a lot of things. Man my head has had a lot of clutter thrown out. But there are still things up there so do not think about any empty head jokes. Knowing who you and and what you do makes it easier to lead a better and fruitful life. I have just begun to realize both of those things.